Whispering to the heart

There’s something special about a whisper in its own right.  Between lovers, it’s tender and sometimes sensual.  When done in the presence of others, it has an air of secrecy. 

An large number of couples have taken advantage of these qualities and incorporated whispering into a couple ritual.  The main form of it is when couples hug.  The hug isn’t normal in that it usually lasts longer, is tighter, starts with a meaningful glance, or some other signal that this is a special moment.  The whisper is either a little sweet nothing, or a call and response like “nice” answered with “perfect.”  Yes, this sounds sappy, but if you can’t be sentimental and sappy with your lover, how can you ever find out how special that feels?



  • One partner gave the other a firmer hug, and the other offered a playful little grunt, and then whisper, “Thank you.”  The other would return whisper, “You’re welcome.”
  • Simply “I love you,” and the other would repeat the same without the you “too” added on – simply, “I love you.”
  • Whispering rituals are usually done in private, but it can be nice to do it in public.  The public display of tender affection combined with the curiosity most people have about what was said can be enjoyable.
  • Instead of saying anything, try making a noise like a purr or sigh.


Principal Purposes Served

  • Create stable touchstones
  • Build the relationship culture and history
  • Communicate values and beliefs
  • Emotional money in the bank
  • Foster nurturing, affectionate, loving contact