Tea or coffee ritual

The Japanese have an elaborate tea ritual, which is too complex to do justice to here.  It has compound religious, philosophical, and aesthetic connotations.  Short of that level of ritual/tradition/ceremony, couples taking time around a drink to be together is one of the most common rituals noted.

Couples can sometimes use these drinks to symbolize couple time to talk and purposefully be together and connect.  Simply being in one another’s presence generally doesn’t meet the criteria of more meaningful time together. 

To create that kind of time, the tea or coffee (or hot chocolate) create a cue that the time has begun.  Since these are popular drinks, additional cues help differentiate the couple-time tea as special.  Those symbols might be a special location (in the home, or at a coffee shop), special mugs, or a certain time of day.  Lighting a candle has also been mentioned numerous times.


Other variations:

  • Going to a bookstore that has a café and having a drink after browsing for a while
  • Listening to music outside (or inside the house), while having a nice drink.


Principal Purposes Served

  • Create stable touchstones
  • Build the relationship culture and history
  • Communicate values and beliefs
  • Emotional money in the bank