Lights out, warmed hearts

Lights out warmed hearts couple ritual

Perhaps the simplest and fastest of all the rituals, these little nighttime endings are little flashes of connection.  While cuddling rituals and whispering to the heart are common variations of this ritual, the quick signal of connection here is a little bit different.

Due to the brevity and ease by which these rituals can slip into automaticity and thereby less or no meaning, special care needs to be taken so that the hearts are engaged.



  • A kiss as one person turns the light off
  • Squeezing of hands
  • Saying I love you alone or combined with another variation
  • Children’s phrase of “Goodnight, sleep tight, and don’t let the bed bugs bite.”
  • Hold one another’s wedding rings and say I love you before lights out
  • Gazing into one another’s eyes for a solid minute
  • Say a prayer together


Principal Purposes Served

  • Create stable touchstones
  • Emotional money in the bank
  • Foster nurturing, affectionate, loving contact