Cuddling Rituals

People seem to fall along three points:  big-time cuddlers, occasional cuddlers, or virtual abstainers.  This couple ritual will appeal to those who really enjoy cuddling.  Like coffee fanatics who have no trouble rattling off a dozen varieties of the black gold and how they like it prepared, cuddlers have their set of rituals surrounding this passion. 

Couples have their favorite positions and configurations, but that really isn’t enough to make it a ritual worthy of being catalogued in a book (here’s a link of positions).  What is noteworthy is how people ritualize the act.  By far the most common cuddling couple ritual is to fall asleep cuddling in a certain way almost every night.  When the couple wakes up in the morning, they will resume that same cuddling position for a few minutes before greeting the day. 



  • When the alarm goes off, plan for one snooze cycle where you cuddle together – awake.
  • You know the adage: never go to sleep when you are mad at each other.  So, no matter what, before going to sleep at night, take 5 minutes to cuddle and speak about pleasant aspects of your relationship, each other, the day, the future, or . . .
  • See the breathing, reading, and the grumbles and gratitudes rituals. They all work well with cuddling. 
  • Take a cuddle break during the day.  Either person can call for a “cuddle break!” and then five or ten minutes are spent cuddling on the couch or bed. 
  • Take a shower in the morning, and then get back into bed for a few minutes of cuddling before getting dressed.
  • Back scratching as part of it.
  • Putting on a movie and cuddling on the couch or in bed.


Principal Purposes Served

  • Create stable touchstones
  • Foster trust
  • Emotional money in the bank
  • Foster nurturing, affectionate, loving contact